Small Rant...

You guys should

really turn away. This is Cat sleep deprived, irked and not one bit happy. If you’re

looking for shits & giggles, this is not the post. Go away. I apologize for the

language in advance. There will be some structures that beavers build mentioned here, as

well as some good ol’ fashion poo-ing.

Why are you still

here? Anyway, as you may or may not have guessed I’m an RA for a pre-college (read: high

school) program. And I’ve just had a bitch of a time trying to instill any sense of

community with my girls. This is mostly/partially my fault in the sense that I waited for

the end of the first week before I started scheduling activities. I did only one round of

ice breakers, and didn’t use my first unit meeting to do another round. Stupid Cat. But I

was literally told on Friday, June 24th (kids starting coming in on Saturday) that I was

going to be an RA, so the first week was pretty damn rough on me. But whatever.

So, I

plan my two events per week religiously. But no one shows up, except for the two girls

across the hall from me. When I knock on their doors to invite them to come, they just look

at me and say “No.” or give some excuse. Pretty damn disheartening to get refused thirteen

times. Apparently homework is more fun than whatever I have planned. I even get them to

write down suggestions on cards, trying to discover what they do. And if I hadn’t planned

something like that already, I plan an event from a suggestion on the card. Still, do they

come? No. I get a lot of lip service and a bunch of no shows.

The thing is, is that

I make it clear that I’m not going to make them come. Not going to hog tie and force them

into being active. I should have, and perhaps I’d have a tighter unit, but that’s just not

me. This is pseudo-college. You make decisions and you deal with the consequences, end of

story. You decide not to come to events, we don’t have a tight unit. We don’t have a

community. It’s not my lack of trying, it’s you and your neighbor’s fault.


somehow, come survey time, it’s my events that fail to foster community. My events that

don’t explain college life.

And I ask you, as I know some of you are high

schoolers, what did I do wrong? Was giving folks a choice not to come a bad idea? Should I

have gotten my act together sooner that first week and demanded that we go to dinner as a

unit, and then play silly name games and toss frisbees around, even when no one seems to want

to get off their butts and play. What interests you? What motivates you?

I just

don’t know. So I’m lying here at 2:30 in the gosh-darn morning, trying to figure out what

I could’ve done better, because I knew this was happening (when no one shows up to your

events, you know there’s a problem), but couldn’t find a way to fix it. And I just don’t


And I shouldn’t be bitching on the FF forum, but I just need to bitch, and

I’m hoping someone can tell me where I messed up, and what I did wrong, and that I’m such a

worthless idiot, etc., etc., etc.

I just don’t know. I’m so sorry. I just don’t


Cat, believe me, you’re not

a worthless idiot.

I was one of the ones that continuously (through 5 years of dorm

life!) avoided events like that…not because I didn’t want to go or participate, but

because the few times I went, I always felt like the one loser person there, that all the

cool kids wished would leave so that they could have a good time. Silly, I know, but that’s

the way things go. (Well, ok, I lied…my last semester I didn’t go to any events because I

was living with a bunch of sorority girl freshmen who scared me, and who kept killing the

fuses in the entire dorm by running their hair dryers at 3am, 'cause obviously hot guys are

going to come by and stalk them in their sleep and sigh over how beautiful their bedhead


Anyway, I digress. Throughout all of those years, I got to know my RAs (at

least on a name basis), and they were all very cool. My hallmates, on the other hand, were

often not so cool…hence the lack of desire to participate. (And the aforementioned feeling

of lone loserness :wink:).

My guess would be that these HSers want “real”

college…hanging out with fellow HSers is boring, 'cause that’s what they’d do at home,

just not all in the same building. They probably want to go to a frat party, toss around a

frisbee with a hot college guy (vs. a non-hot HS girl), and pretend that they’re all grown

up already.

Could be totally wrong, though, it’s (thankfully) been a long time since

high school.

Good luck with them, though!

Well, I’ll approach this

from basically the opposite side from Shanthi, b/c the dorm I was in freshman year ended up

being incredibly tight for the most part throughout our 4 years there. Though Shanthi raised

some good points, it could just be that your girls in general thought this pre-college thing

was lame and didn’t care.

Our RA’s didn’t do a whole lot of ice breakers when we

first moved in. We had like a general hall meeting where we learned not to walk from the

parking garages alone after dark and that we could get free toilet paper from the security

desk. After that we did some whole-building stuff during the year like ice cream parties,

etc but I think probably 1/3 of the major activies were ones the residents came up with

(random pajama twister, moving TV’s to the common area to watch movies together, story time

in the hallways… ah, only freshman year in an honor dorm is having your RA read you a

bedtime story cool).

So, yeah, I’d definately say don’t beat yourself up about it.

Your girls do have to do most of the work. You’ve given them tons of opportunities to do

stuff and they’re just not taking you up on them. If they’re hanging out together then you

did your job. If not, well, not sure how much more you could have done. Forcing

togetherness sometime early on might have helped since they’d have to talk to each other, if

nothing else to complain abt how lame being together is :wink:

Don’t stress abt it.

Teenage girls are some of the most obnoxious beings on the planet. We think you’re cool.

And if you said we were baking cookies together at 9, I know I’d be there!

[quote=""Don’t stress abt it.

Teenage girls are some of the most obnoxious beings on the planet. We think you’re cool.

And if you said we were baking cookies together at 9, I know I’d be there![/quote"]


completely agree with that part. Teenage girls are obnoxious, and over 89% of them need to

get their butts out of their head and have hair dye and other products leaking into their

brain. I aplaud you for being so patient with them because I know that in your position I

would have already shaken one and knocked them down a peg or two.

And you are cool, I

think you’re one of, if not the coolest, people on this game. If those girls just want to

blow you off it’s not your fault at all. You’ve made me laugh on some of my worst days by

just being yourself and for that I can say that I’d be there with Andrea and you, even if I

don’t know either one of you :lol:

See, if my RAs had had baking

activities, I’d have been there, loser-like or not. :wink: But they chose to do stuff like

pseudo-reality shows for the dorm, and pseudo-matchmaking stuff instead…ew.


maybe it wasn’t me, it was the activities. :stuck_out_tongue: Just like it’s not you, it’s the girls.




I completely agree with that part. Teenage girls are obnoxious, and over 89% of

them need to get their butts out of their head and have hair dye and other products leaking

into their brain.

Haha, true. I honestly dunno if I’m obnoxious,

or an insufferable know-it-all, or whatever. All’s I know is I’m not in college yet. Is

that a good thing?

Highschool life, however, is cool. I’m personally enjoying it,

it’s way better then MS. Way better. :wink:

[b]I completely

agree with that part. Teenage girls are obnoxious, and over 89% of them need to get their

butts out of their head and have hair dye and other products leaking into their


that is so true although at our high school we dont have RA’s

or anythign liek that must be totally diff in Australia, however as yr12s we have to motivate

all other highschooler in sports day events and trying to get everyone to stand up is like a

baby trying to pull a clysdale away from the juciest grass!!! anyway from what ive heard from

you and other member high opinon of you its the rest of the girls miss out!!!

Cat’s program is being held

at her college, so it’s like a summer camp for high school students. My school did that

during the summer as well, think they called it something stupid like “Head Start” or

something. :wink: But it was basically for ubergeeky HSers to go to “college” for 6 weeks and

take classes, hang out, pretend to be freshmen, etc.

oh ok thanks Shanthi for

clearing that up

Thanks, guys. Just been

kinda bummed these past couple days, but what won’t an impromtou game of Taboo in the

hallway fix? After feeling shitty all day (and staying up until 5am last night), I’m rather


Furthermore, I’m going back to the SPARK program, with middle schoolers

who have to love you. Plus, two weeks of “vacation” where I don’t have kids. This means I

can do some Taekwondo, which tends to keep me balanced. Three weeks of no TKD with friends

is enough to drive me over the edge.

So, in two weeks expect me to be bitching about

middle schoolers.

But once more, thanks, guys.