Short story for school "Irony"

Most every Monday we are assigned to write a page and a half about the assigned topic. Well today’s was free choice. So some remote part of my brain (I can’t seem to find it rite now, but when I do, its days will be numbered) convinced me to write a short story. I think that it’s turning out all right, but I wanted your critique (my dad says it’s nice, but then again, he isn’t very fluent in English)
Please bear in mind that I am in eighth grade, I moved to America from Russia when I was six, and don’t usually let me brain convince me to write stories. Also this is the first draft so there will be mistakes.

Sorry, I posted too soon, will get the story shortly…
First paragraph:

next couple of paragraphs, I have the last paragraph done, but it sorta ruins the stuff before it so I’ll wait to post it till the end.

And this draft is done.

I just noticed this post :slight_smile: Sorry it took me so long. There are actually many of us who enjoy writing here on FF… myself included :wink: I know Shanthi is one as well… I’m rather rusty, haven’t dusted off my creativity for awhile, but let me give you some suggestions on your story. Changes are in [color=red]red.
Of course, you don’t have to change anything, just my thoughts :slight_smile:



Many thanks for your splendid comment :smiley: :-*, those changes do make it flow better. scrambles of to revise her work before it’s time to hand it in ::)

I was just rereading the beginning of the story, and if you want, I can edit those as well? :slight_smile: Not quite sure how I missed them lol

It looks good, though, beyond a few spelling issues which is easy to remedy with spell check :wink:, I don’t get while its titled Irony.

Because that small part of my brain that created this story had to run and hide from me before it created a title(in other words, my imagination failed.)
you’re welcome to sujest titles though :wink:
BlueWolf - I’d loove it if you looked over the first part to. Thanks for taking the time to read it. ;D

hmm, I always like to add my two cents, even if its usually only worth one cent  :smiley:

A Certain Kind of Luck
Live and Learn

As for a title… I would suggestion something along the lines of “A Lesson Learned”. And so it’s not all crazy on the thread, here’s the edited version of your story:



I love that, thanks!! :-*
hmm, I like Live and Learn…

Thanks, runs of to shcool to turn the slightly revised copy in. ::)